Writer on Writing

Have you written a book? You’re a writer. Do you have ideas for new works of fiction, followed by writing them down, followed by turning them into a tangible story? You’re a writer. Do you think about where, when, and how you’re going to get some writing in during the day? You’re a writer.

Yep. Even before you let someone else read it. The debate? Do you tell people that you’re a writer. Someone told me to. I no longer agree. The general not-so-well-wishing public were pretty shitty about the fact that I hadn’t published. If you have good people who love and support you, then, YES, tell them. If you have asshats who will mock you no matter what (that was my case), don’t tell them anything! As a matter of fact, why are you even still talking to them? writinghayes.jpg

Getting published means that you’re a published writer. Getting on some list somewhere means, a. you’re lucky, b. you have friends in the right places, or c. you’re really good at writing and publishing.

Do you have a bucket (wall, hook, folder, drawer, etc.) full of rejection letters that for whatever reason, you either kept or ceremoniously burn? Yep! Writer.

Do you take your rejections with a grain of sand, then dust off the page to begin again? Writing for writing sake? You’re a writer. IF your feelings are hurt by the rejections (the 1st few sting a bit, and sometimes have ‘mean’ or ‘snark’ in them)…. the skin toughens with time.

Are you going to let your critics beat you into never writing again? Well, I can help coach you through that fatal flaw (fatal, because that means your words will have died). I was there once upon a time. I beat that monster. Screw them!

1e79dc738cd17cf2dc344e26e75c2b19.jpgCritics of your genre? Sure! There are going to be critics of your writing, your genre, your voice (writer’s voice, everyone has one) and the way your book looks on a shelf. The world is FULL of critics. My personal favorites? Those who have never written a word but have TONS of advice about how to write a book.

My response? Oh, so you’re a nurse? Awesome. Know what? How about you don’t give me advice how to write, and I won’t give you advice about where to stick that needle. Oh, you’re a neurosurgeon? Fire fighter? Custodian? Psychologist (well, I can give some expert advice there too)…. um, financial analyst? (you get the picture)….. same thing.

The meme I like to quote the most?  “Be You. Everyone else is taken”.

  1. We all have something we’re experts at. Or, really, really good at. Be that. Stick with that.
  2. Part of being a writer is you’re also a professional reader. Read. Seriously. A lot.
  3. Part of being a writer is to stay weird. As weird as you want to get the power juices flowing in that noodle of yours.
  4. Write as much as you’d like, as often as you like.
  5. Find your writer tribe. I have several. I’m weird as hell. Now, I know that so are they. I don’t spend a lot of time with people who don’t get me. I almost let the non-weirdo-non-writer-types crush my spirit. Then, I went to a couple of writer conferences. It was an instant shift in reality that I’m not the only one who thought that way.


Writer’s who are mega writers are still people. That means, they are human beings with feelings, a job, a family, interests outside of writing. Maybe, don’t ask them to read your book. Maybe, “friend” them to learn from them, more than push your junk in their face. They will not push their junk in your face. NEVER ask another writer to edit/publish/read/review your work without knowing them. NEVER tell a professional writer what to do to make it better. This is the stuff of silence as the response. If you want that… do that incurable rude stuff. I promise they will “un” friend you quickly.

BUT….. break the rules, deconstruct all you want…. mash it up, twist it about… most important…. don’t be afraid of words…. they are your tools.

Play nice. Be polite. Treat others well or play nice. Remember your manners. Seek the answers BEFORE asking the sophomoric questions out of laziness, knowing that the more basic questions have been asked a thousand times before. If there are writers you want to be friends with but they are jerks, writer’s are people. Some people are jerks. It’s okay. More of them are cool.

MOST of all….. find your write time to write (that was a pun). Get used to puns, metaphors and OH…… people who will try to sell you their “best course ever” on writing.

Think of the advice that Santa Clause gave to Buddy the Elf in the movie Elf. There’s some stuff that SHOULD be common sense.

Then, find your own path. Don’t always trust the people who are eager to help you. They may light you on fire and steal your work. I know! It’s happened to me twice.

If you’re serious about writing. Remember, it’s a business first. A passion driven business, but the successful writer’s know it’s also their business.

IF you LOVE to write…… welcome to the club. IF you want to write but don’t, then you know what to do. IF you have “all these great ideas”….. well, nobody can help you with that unless you are a celebrity OR, make a sex tape.

I’ve met a LOT of writers. Most of them? Well, they’re probably not going to make a sex tape, but then…. they are the #1 people who will NOT be afraid to talk about it.

MY writer tribe work in the romance genre. They’re not afraid to wear tiaras OR talk about sex tapes. OH, and did I mention that most of them are HIGHLY intelligent, well educated, SMART and funny women?

OH…. and for Pete’s sake … do NOT, and I repeat… NEVER … think that you have to be perfect. Strive for it. It’s a good goal to be flawless … but it will also drive you mad. Perfectionists are missing something to.

Have fun writing. Life’s too short to be spending all of your breaths on something you hate.


Owner, Practitioner

Henry Healing (Reiki/Psychology based Life Coach, Writer and Artist)

Facebook (Author page): @KarenDalyAuthor

Facebook (Reiki/Coach page): @HenryHealingReikiCoach

p.s…. as I’m writing this, I’m watching Facebook live… April the giraffe is giving birth. It’s quite a spectacular thing to behold. Don’t judge.



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